A whole lot of something.

      Have you ever had so many different thoughts, feelings, experiences to choose to write about that you just simply opted out?? That's what I have been doing. Each day is different and there is so much to be said about each one how do you even choose which day is best deserving?? I don't know. So instead I think I might just take a moment and just say what's on my mind. *Warning* this may be a whole lot of rambling, but I'm pretty sure the synonym for rambling is blogging :D.
      Well one thing that has obviously been on my mind is that boy I've written about. It's ups and downs and everything in between for me as far as he's concerned. Really I just can't get myself to stop thinking about him. I wrote a whole four page post describing my experiences, feelings, and what I've learned from this journey with him, but decided that it was a little much and kept it for myself ( if you ever want the dynamic modern day Eponine  story just ask me to send you the post :D ). A mission is closing in for him and it's closing the door on me. For a closed book person my already difficult agenda has become a complete struggle. Now what I don't want you to think is that I'm trying to hook up with him right before his mission which would make things difficult for him. No, I care too much for that. I just really want to get closer to him because it's going to have to last us two years. Some days are great. We play and have fun just like old times. Others are a train wreck of him not acknowledging I'm around. Yesterday was actually a really great day. After stake conference Steve and I went to the man tower to meet up with everyone. We had a good time playing pool followed by dinner which was fun and irritating at the same time due to the boy next to me who lacked social cues of when to stop flirting already!!! I went through 3 cups of water and like six hugs thanks to him. After that we went to flirty boy's place for more pool and a movie. Aaron and I chose the movie which was Jonny English. It's a pretty funny one if I do say so myself. I worked with him some more on his Spanish with his little pocket book that teaches him all the different missionary phrases he would need to learn. After the movie and some pool we all took the journey home. While cutting through the TSC Aaron noticed a banner that said there was poetry and a beverage...right then! Next thing you know he takes off up the stairs. I say I'll go see where he is and if anything is going on. So I take off and go all the way up to the 3rd level, back down to the first and then to the 2nd where I find Aaron amongst the crowd. Our other friends had already taken off so it was just the two of us. We listened to the performers and sipped our tripped up root beer. Walking home I threw a snow ball at him which turned into a battle the whole way home fighting to get the other person into the snow banks. He is more powerful than myself and could easily fight me in. Haha we even battled on the elevator. I felt like we had some dirty little secret because once the elevator opened to our floor we immediately stopped and walked out like nothing had happened. After that followed a long period of guitar hero which I mostly watched. Aaron's by far the best which is no wonder seeing as how it's his game. When Steve kicked us out at midnight I wasn't ready to go to bed. We talked Aaron into watching a movie in his room. It ended up working out that Aaron and I got to share the bed, or at least half of it. I took his blanket but it wasn't before long that he shared it with me. I ended up cuddling up against him. Man it felt so right. Especially when my head made it to his chest and my hand somewhere near his heart. Slowly my fingers started to trace circles there on his chest. I was so worried he would retaliate but he didn't, and I could feel the draw between us getting stronger. It felt like our bodies were being pulled together like a magnet. The real test was to see if he got up as soon as the movie was over...he didn't :). We just stayed there laying and talking until everyone else said they were ready to go, so he said he better escort them home (and me). It was quite a night.
    Well that was a whole lot of rambling just as expected. The other thoughts occupying my mind are varied and don't get as much attention. Some are about Brennan. I miss him still but in a good way. I'm also worried about going home for the summer because I spent last summer entirely with him.
    I worry about my family a lot especially recently it seems that there is a lot of turmoil that I can't help or fix. It's hard to be away and know you can't do anything to help.
    I miss  too many classes my motivation is shot and I don't know what's wrong. I have terrible sleep habits and feel as though I'm letting life pass me by. I feel like I let others direct my life for me instead of the other way around.
   I'm generally happy, but worry that sometimes I look waaaay to much into things instead of just enjoying them.
   Well that's enough said for one post.

HOT tub!

Living in Logan, better known as Antartica, craving a nice dip in a hot tub is a no brainer. The other day I mentioned to my wonderful friend Abbie Starkey( who I love dearly) that I want to go to one soo bad! The next day she finds me with her bf and says we can use his apartment facilities' hot tub any time we want, yay!! So yesterday after a nice workout with Cambri and some chow, Abbie and I plan to go!! We invite Aaron and Steve but of course Aaron says video games are more important but he'll give me a ride. He later hinted after me saying I didn't care he went and then taking it back that not knowing the place and possibly not owning shorts was more the reason for his rejection to our offer. Posh. The tub wasn't sublime. It's temperature was slightly lacking the awesome range, but still great. I heard some interesting conversations from the other peeps in the tub. One guy with a nice fro lost my respect by bragging about having been engaged 3 times (he was 21) and he himself calling all 3 off because he knew there were so many girls out there who wanted him. Wooowweee. If he wasn't attractive to me before (which he wasn't) then he definitely wasn't now. Mmm nothing soothes the aching muscles like a nice soak. My body felt great. I wonder if my lack of soreness today and Cambri's extreme soreness is somewhat correlated to the fact that I soaked and she didn't haha. Either way stinks to be her :/. Kudos to Aaron for picking Abbie and I up after already dropping us off. He sure is a great friend. Well usually. Mostly. Ah nevermind that subject in my head haha.

Show me the True Blooded Aggie

There's nothing like a Utah State game in the Spectrum to make you feel such intense school spirit and unity. Getting to sit next to Aaron and listen to him get mad at poor calls, have the boys tease that it should have been him and I on the kiss camera, laughing with Jessica Megli, getting to hold Big Blue as he crowd surfed, cheering till my voice cracks, and feeling the excitement of a Utah State victory sums up the experience. It's so great to spend a night with good friends and good company. Last night I went to a cowboy themed dance and had so much fun.  During the dance everyone joined in one large circle and danced together unified. We pounded on the ground, swayed, moshed, moved forward, backward, it was so awesome and such a blast. Learning some swing steps with Aaron was a triple blast...:) :). I know that it's no secret I like him so I think it's fine to write about it. Even though we were only holding hands dancing...I couldn't help but love it. Him being playful and spinning me everywhere...just made me smile. What else made me smile? When I asked him if he was sad that he didn't get to sit by the boys at the game he said of course they're my brothers, I looked away sadly, and then he said but I'm happy I get to sit next to you! It's funny how the littlest things mean soo much to me.

Like it's Quidditch

A weekend and couple days worth constitutes some more good quality college fun. Over the weekend I spent a lot of time with my friend Abbie Starkey. We had a great girls night of nails, donuts, chick flicks, relatable songs, and boy stories. I also attempted to learn self-defense which just resulted in bruises on my wrists and pathetic laughter. Monday was a holiday which meant: NO SCHOOL!!!! haha love love love. After a day of hanging with the girls, I headed to FHE quidditch style. I ran around as a chaser with my only attempt to score aimed into the basketball hoop ( the goal I should have shot at was on the wall behind the hoop). What ends a great night like that? I'll tell you : TANGLED "Oh yeah!"It was a great time that movie makes me smile every time. I've seen it twice now. Next night we went over to Jessica Megli's house for some homemade sweet&sour chicken!! mmmmm :). After some awesome food we played twister which had no real victor. We hit it up like it's Quidditch

There's a First for everything....

So a week ago today, I thought I would try something kind of crazy: Go skiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing! It was a steal of a deal I couldn't pass up! 15$ for the pass and the ride up and back and 10$ for rentals it was a miracle I tell you hahah. So up we went to Beaver mountain. Getting the boots on and ski's proved to be slightly challenging it being me and all, but I got them on none the less. I was told that getting off the lift was the worst part, so in my mind the image that came was the lift pushing us right on to a gigantic hill where I plummet to my death. The lift actually wasn't that bad! The bad part was the HILL. First time down was probably hilarious to anyone but me. Steven Gould, Riley Harms, and Aaron Wilson tried to help me up as I kept falling. The problem was when I fell I seriously couldn't get up hahhaha. I ended up doing like the splits over Steven causing us both to be stuck. Thank goodness Aaron didn't leave me because everyone else gave up on me before I even made it half way down the hill haha. After that I started to slowly get better control over myself. I still crashed many times, but they happened less frequently. Aaron helped me learn to weave wide so that I wasn't taking on the mountain straight on; it solved a lot of problems. One time as we were getting off the lift, the belt loop of my pants got caught on the lift and started pulling it up with me!!! I was so scared I was screaming up a storm finally my pants ripped and I fell off. I guess Aaron was right: the worst part is getting off the lift haha. On the way home I caught some hypothermia. I had skied in jeans and all of the snow that had covered them was now melted into my pants. I started shaking violently. After that I remember about six guys coats covering me and being too weak to sit up. Walking home was terrible. I was shaking and huffing and puffing and trying my best to just keep moving forward. Thank you Nate, J.T., Tom and Aaron for bringing me home. Once there I just collapsed on the ground shaking. The rest was a blur of blankets and dry clothes. Thank goodness my roomate was home for once (soon to be not roomate :[ ) so she and Kristen could help. The boys were kind enough to wait outside to see if I was alright. I asked for a blessing and was blessed to receive one from Kevin and Steve Bratt. I felt more warm and safe when they were there, especially when Steve had me propped up against him to help me drink ( body warmth). Well that about sums up that night. Next morning I had to go to my 9 am class which has 100% required attendance. Too bad the teacher was 25 minutes late to a 50 minute class!

It's really happening!!

Well I'm back for reals now! The time has come the walrus said...:) So just to update you from my last post: That boyfriend is no longer the best thing that happened to me. It's over. He may have been the best thing that happened to me at the time but now it's in our best interest that we stay apart. Since then life has been great. I've put myself out there and tried to make the most of the things around me :). The people are great and the atmosphere is fitting. I've had some great adventures which I will now be filling you in more. Stay tuned because things are finally rolling forward :)

My long due return!

As you might have noticed, I haven't blogged for quite a while. One word will sum up my defense: Boyfriend :). Yes it's finally happened the miracle of all miracles I snatched the most amazing boy on the planet. I couldn't ask for more. :) Well after a summer full of romance I'm now in college up at Utah State University!! Go AGGIES!! It's a good thing I look good in blue. I've been mostly tucked away in my dorm with homework but have also been on some awesome adventures. The sculpture picture scavenger hunt was quite fun. Just this past weekend Brennan came up to visit!! We went and did baptisms for the dead in the Logan temple ( both our first times there) and then went to Angie's cafe where I got the salmon and he got the chicken cordon bleu (which I both highly recommend) and split a peanut butter cup shake. It was so nice to have him up here I'm so lucky to have him ahh the world would be perfect if only he were here in logan too. The scenery is absolutely to die for and hiking the wind caves you see a spectacular view from the inside of a cave!! Well that's all I got :) keep it safe.

lovely view of the logan temple