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Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Reno here I come!!

I know it's been a while since I've written. But I just had to write a post to say goodbye to all of you lovely folks. If I thought my family could handle technology I would assemble a mission blog, but alas they can't. So this will be it. I wish I could my mission pictures up..maybe if I come back to Denny's before I get set apart..we'll see this may be updated. Anyways.

Wow. It's here. I feel like I'm sort of walking in the air because nothing is grounding me. I'm nervous but excited and almost void of emotion because there are so many to feel. I think I'll go crazy at some point but not yet. It just doesn't feel real. I don't even think my wedding day will fill me with this much of a ...overload of emotions questioning if this is really happening.

One thing I do know is that I have a testimony. I will always have that. I love my Savior and I'm so excited to be able to serve him. So here is my farewell talk. take into mind that it ended with my testimony which isn't included.

Introduction: name, school, mission call, when I leave
funny: first talk since high school at mission farewell
I’d like to title my talk: Our Infinite worth
I’ve titled it so because I want to focus today on the worth of each soul, of each of us. I have a knowledge of my individual worth in the eyes of God.  And I know that each of you have an interchangeable  worth. So what is this “worth” that I keep speaking of and what is ours?
Well Uchtdorf speaks of it quite nicely in the talk that I will be referencing today from the October 2011 General Conference talk: You Matter To Him
He spoke:
This is a paradox of man: compared to God, man is nothing; yet we are everything to God. While against the backdrop of infinite creation we may appear to be nothing, we have a spark of eternal fire burning within our breast. We have the incomprehensible promise of exaltation—worlds without end—within our grasp. And it is God’s great desire to help us reach it.
In the eyes of God, we are everything. We’re his children. Princes, and Princesses. Yet for some reason, I don’t see people acting as such, even I find myself not acting so. Why is that?
Because of adversity. Satan has his own tactics to keep us from staying of the path of eternal glory.
Ucthdorf speaks of two ways that Satan does this:
The great deceiver knows that one of his most effective tools in leading the children of God astray is to appeal to the extremes of the paradox of man. To some, he appeals to their prideful tendencies, puffing them up and encouraging them to believe in the fantasy of their own self-importance and invincibility. He tells them they have transcended the ordinary and that because of ability, birthright, or social status, they are set apart from the common measure of all that surrounds them. He leads them to conclude that they are therefore not subject to anyone else’s rules and not to be bothered by anyone else’s problems.
This tactic saddens my heart. No one is of less importance than another.
Mosiah 6:7 shows an example of how we ought to help one another, no matter our status
“And King Mosiah did cause his people that they should till the earth. And he also, himself did till the earth, that thereby he might not become burdensome to his people. That he might do according to that which his father had done in all things.”
Mosiah was a King as the scripture states, yet it was not below him to serve his people. Jesus Christ the Prince of Peace and Lord of Lords was in every definition: perfect. We all strive for perfection. So if we truly want to become perfect, we must follow in his example do what he did. Serve those around us.
Uchtdorf speaks of the second way Satan tries to keep us from our worth
Another way Satan deceives is through discouragement. He attempts to focus our sight on our own insignificance until we begin to doubt that we have much worth. He tells us that we are too small for anyone to take notice, that we are forgotten—especially by God.
What a strong tool this is: to be able to get us to question our very roots of existence. It is an even stronger tool if we never knew our worth in the first place. I find myself sometimes wondering where I would be in my life if I didn’t know of my worth. What a difference it makes knowing that you have a heavenly being, a Father to be exact who knows you. He knows every part of you the wonderful strong and cherished parts; the ones that we sometimes fail to see in their full spectrum, and also the weak  dismissible parts.
We try to hide these parts of ourselves (The weak) from those we meet we and stay in contact with. The longer we can hide the these unwanted parts of ourselves, the longer we believe people will want to stay around. But you cannot hide anything, any part of yourself from God. He sees all. But the miraculous thing that is hard to comprehend: is that he loves us still. He loves us more than even our earthly parents do-which if is like mine, that’s a whole lot. In God’s eyes, he doesn’t see weakness as something to repress or hide. He sees it as something to expose and strengthen.
In Ether chapter 12:27 it reads: And if men come unto me I will sow unto them their weakness. I will give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.
God has a plan for us. Let me conclude with the words that Utchdorf used to finish his point: that we matter to God.
My dear brothers and sisters, it may be true that man is nothing in comparison to the greatness of the universe. At times we may even feel insignificant, invisible, alone, or forgotten. But always remember—you matter to Him! If you ever doubt that, consider these four divine principles:
First, God loves the humble and meek, for they are “greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”17
Second, the Lord entrusts “the fulness of [His] gospel [to] be proclaimed by the weak and the simple unto the ends of the world.”18 He has chosen “the weak things of the world [to] come forth and break down the mighty and strong ones”19 and to put to shame “the things which are mighty.”20
Third, no matter where you live, no matter how humble your circumstances, how meager your employment, how limited your abilities, how ordinary your appearance, or how little your calling in the Church may appear to you, you are not invisible to your Heavenly Father. He loves you. He knows your humble heart and your acts of love and kindness. Together, they form a lasting testimony of your fidelity and faith.
Fourth and finally, please understand that what you see and experience now is not what forever will be. You will not feel loneliness, sorrow, pain, or discouragement forever. We have the faithful promise of God that He will neither forget nor forsake those who incline their hearts to Him.21 Have hope and faith in that promise. Learn to love your Heavenly Father and become His disciple in word and in deed.
Be assured that if you but hold on, believe in Him, and remain faithful in keeping the commandments, one day you will experience for yourselves the promises revealed to the Apostle Paul: “Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.”22
Brothers and sisters, the most powerful Being in the universe is the Father of your spirit. He knows you. He loves you with a perfect love.
God sees you not only as a mortal being on a small planet who lives for a brief season—He sees you as His child. He sees you as the being you are capable and designed to become. He wants you to know that you matter to Him.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Loving the haters

Sometimes people are going to hurt you. Honest to goodness straight faced pain. They will tell you they care, but show in their actions that they are anything but caring. Then they make you believe that they are worth all the bad; the smallest glimpse of goodness will suffice. Well here's the thing:

They are worth it. 
Everyone is. The pain they cause you won't go away, until you've accepted to love them anyways. This does not mean that you should spend all of your time with them, in-fact you should spend as little time with them as possible. 
When you feel yourself thinking hateful spiteful thoughts, stop them, and replace them with love. Think of that person and force yourself to wish them happiness. If you can do this, then you have guaranteed yourself happiness. Because when you try to punish them, you are only punishing yourself.
"I the Lord will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men." 
-Doctrine and Covenants 64:10

Monday, April 22, 2013

Sister Commeree

"You have been called to serve"...:)

Aren't those the most wonderful words you've ever read? I adore them.

So in case you didn't know, I am overjoyed to announce that I have been called to serve as a missionary of the United States of..I mean the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Days Saints(I really said that when I was reading my call I was so in shock). I have been called to the Reno Nevada mission and I leave May 29th!

So a couple cool facts about my mission
1. My favorite seminary teacher of all time will be in the mission presidency in my mission!!
2. Lake Tahoe is super close by.
3. I just got in contact with a girl in my stake who leaves the same day as me. We are destined to be friends.
4. I can visit my mission and keep all the connections I make because it's so close by.

The funny thing is when I tell people Reno, they have that two second face reaction of "Oh that sucks" and then catch themselves and get all excited and say how wonderful Reno will be.

I won't lie Reno wasn't my first choice. But when I read it, I could feel that it was right. I can just feel like it is exactly where I'm supposed to be. I can't wait it's ridiculous. But I'm trying to finish finals and move home while only given less than 6 weeks to prepare. So I have SO much to do. If you would like to see me beforehand I'd love to spare some time for you :).

Everyone waiting for the big moment!
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Right before I opened it!

Monday, February 25, 2013

Infinite part 2

I realized I never published this post! It's a bit old, but it's probably one of my favorite writings yet. Enjoy!

With the detour complete we made it to one of my most favorite places:
Lava Hot Springs.
 I've never seen the hot pots in such a way before.
The air was so cold that steam blew through the
air mimicking the fog we had just driven through.
I let my muscles relax and felt my body uncoil
into a limp rag doll-like frame.

After wading through crowds of faces covered by steam,
I made it to the farthest and hottest pool.

The scenery was most beautiful here.
Snow covered benches, hills, and gazebos
made me feel like I was in some winter-wonderland.

I laid on my back gazing through the steam to where the moon
shone down on me.
I closed my eyes and let myself be.
I felt a state of inner-awareness that is hard to find.

When I sat up, I realized that through the steam
the other side of the pool wasn't visible except
in small moments.

This got me thinking.
I suddenly felt comforted by the scenery
forming into a metaphor before me.

The steam, the fog, it it's all the same.
My life has plenty of it.
Plenty of not being able to see where I'm headed.
But there are moments where I get a glance at the other side,
where I can see the end goal.
"Keep thou my feet, I do not ask to see the distant scene,
one step enough for me."
Lead Kindly Light

We're moving on up!!

These mission papers have been horrendously slow. But finally I can feel the progress. The last documentation my bishop needed is in process and should be sent to him within the week. Prospectively speaking, I should have my papers in within the next two weeks. I really think it's going to happen this time. I can feel that it's finally my turn. I'm ready to take on the world.

Friday, February 1, 2013

Some nights

Some nights you come home, and you don't make it two steps in the door without your roommate running to you, because she can tell.
Some nights you try to make it to the living room to study, but you only make it to the kitchen floor.
But some nights the kitchen floor isn't so lonely, because everyone is sitting there too.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013


Singing to the radio with miles and miles behind us, the girl trip had finally started.
Fog, snow and darkness engulfed our surroundings to a serene atmosphere
that remained constant. It wasn't until an extra hour had passed before we
realized that we were on the complete wrong interstate.
That's when the fun started.

Us three beautiful doe-eyed girls pulled off onto a so-called-highway without
a single person in sight. With the fog thickening, it was almost as if we were
entering the plot line in a predictable scary movie.

That only lasted for minutes. Then we really took in the scenery around us.
We could see so many stars.
The mountains seemed stronger, more elegant.
We stopped in the middle of the street
with no worry of oncoming traffic.

We ran around the car arms out stretched, breath clouded,
and became the free beings we were intended to be.

Calming ourselves, we laid down in the middle of the road.
I looked up at everything around me. I felt like I was a part of it.
Instead of my normal reaction to see the world through my own eyes,
I saw the world from it's.

The stillness was deafening.
I looked at the girls and declared in a passionate whisper,
"We're infinite."
It's moments like these when I realize my existence isn't some mere chance.
I'm a part of something greater, eternal.
We all are.
Knowing this changes..everything.

Monday, January 7, 2013


For the first time in history..
I missed all of my classes on the first day of school.
I guess having bruises and swelling all over your face,
and lortab to drown it out makes school seem kind of..
Lucky for me I have friends in almost all of my classes and
I got contact with the teacher for the other.
But seriously..I will never ever take brushing my
teeth for granted again.
Also the show gossip girl is my new favorite drugged up past time.