Day 4: Sweet Sixteen

There are so many things that I can think of that I would love to go back and tell my sixteen year old self. When I first think of what to say, I think of warnings; warnings that could stop some of the biggest fits of heartache I've yet encountered. But I don't want to stop them, because the strength I gained, and the wisdom I acquired from those moments, are pivotal to who I am today. Still, I could have fared with a small warning or two, so here goes.

1. You know who you are, let her shine.
2. Keep your scripture study habits, they make such a difference.
3. Boys and dates are not the world, there's plenty of time for that.
4. Serve others.
5. Have faith in your family, everything will be alright.
6. You have A.D.D. , medicate it.
7. Hold on to the good friendships that you have, and when others hurt you, consider it an opportunity to start anew with even better friends.
8. Keep moving forward.
9. Promise yourself to work hard in college.
10. Be prepared for heartbreak. He's not the one.

Day 3: The old folks and I

My relationship with my parents....
My mom is the best person I've ever known. She also happens to misunderstand me more than ever these days. I still cuddle with her, and sit on her lap, the way she always wanted to with her mom. But she is on my case if I ever seek to give her guidance. There is a lot of role confusion to say the least. Even with distress and tension, I love her more than words. I wish to be more like her. Her biggest weakness, is that she gives too much to others and not enough to herself.

With my father, things are better than they've been in a very long time. He's come through some really hard trials, and put himself in a place where we can communicate and bond. He's trying harder than ever to connect with me. He sends me packages in the mail, and will give me anything his small amounts of money will permit. I love him very much, and am proud of how far he's come.

Day 2: Three Fears

1. I'm afraid of divorce. I've already had the mistake of thinking someone was "the one" and being terribly wrong. I'm the kind of person who believes in love as if it is some fairytale thing and once you are married, it stays forever. I'm afraid of divorce, because it would be something I've never mentally prepared myself for.

2. I'm afraid of being infertile. I don't have any personal reasons to be, it's just that it's always been a dream of mine along with most women, to have children. I don't think very often about what if I can't have children, I consider it a given. I see women who can't, and my heart aches for them. I'm afraid of how much my heart would ache if I couldn't.

3. I'm afraid that I'll never succeed. I struggle very much with motivation. It's not that I'm depressed all the time and can't move, it's just that I have the hardest time seeing myself all the way through anything. I want to be a family therapist so badly. I'm afraid I'll never get the grades and acceptance in to programs to ever get to the place where I can finally help people.

Day 1- 20 facts

1. I'm obsessed with Ireland.
2. I put cilantro in everything.
3. The Notebook is my favorite movie.
4. I LOVE nail polish.
5. I'm terrible at painting my nails.
6. I love to sleep.
7. I'm an insomniac.
8. My favorite flowers are daffodils and lilies.
7. Emerald green is my favorite color, but I always have a seasonal favorite.
8. I wear red lipstick.
9. I hate ginger "jokes". They aren't funny. 
10. I love makeup.
11. I think I was born in the wrong decade.
12. I love awkward moments...which explains why I'm so awkward.
13. My favorite music is slow and meaningful.
14. I'm the oldest of two girls.
15. I want to be a family therapist someday.
16. I believe people are fundamentally good.
17. My favorite smells are lavender, mint, and chamomile.
18. I sing and dance frequently.
19. I have the most absurd dreams.
20. I love to make people smile.

30 day challenge

1. List 20 random facts about yourself.

2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.

3. Describe your relationship with your parents.

4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.

5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?

6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?

7. What is your dream job, and why?

8. What are 5 passions you have?

9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.

10. Describe your most embarrasing moment.
11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.

13. Describe 5 weaknesses you have.
14. Describe 5 strengths you have.
15. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.

21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.
24. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What is your love language?

29. What do you think people misundertand most about you?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.

 

Here we go. You won't have to miss me on this blog for a while, because I'm about to open up to some facts that I even don't know the answers to yet.

Thoughts of warm fuzzies

I'm grateful for:
1. My relief society president bringing dinner to my roommate and I.
2. The girl who said she'd give anything to look like me, because she is gorgeous.
3. My cousin, and the love that has come her way.
4. Skype.
5. Yellow roses
6. Ice cream, especially the gifted kind.
7. My REAL friends.
8. Daily wake-up calls from mom.
9. The packages and letters from dad.
10. The privilege to go to school.
11. Warm blankets.
12. Hulu.
13. Nailpolish.
14. Face masks.
15. This computer.
16. Makeup.
17. Biscuits.
18. Getting a shout out in Riley's block letter :).
19. Books.
20. Random cheer up visits.
21. Getting the honor of planning a bridal shower/
22. Being asked to be a bridesmaid

Grateful.

I want to start a grateful journal.
Why you may ask?
To brag?
To lift up my self-esteem?
Maybe a little.
But really I want to start one,
So I can be humbled.

I'm a worry-wart.
Any worry wart knows
that so many great things can happen,
but the second something bad happens,
It consumes us.

I want to remember the butterfly landing on my hand.
The messages written on my wall.
The kind deeds done by my ward.
The blessing heavenly father has sent me.

I need to expect more of myself.
In order to do this I need to be in
the right mind frame. So I'm going to start.

I may write here, or in my personal journal
it's TBD.
Enjoy, and feel free to try it yourself.